Marathon Runner
It has been hard to sleep. So many thoughts swimming in my mind. My heart and soul are restless. How does a mother protect her precious black boys in a world that so easily discards and villainizes them? At what point does their cuteness and innocence turn into threat and fear? It’s a harsh reality that our children black and white are aware of race and racial differences much earlier in life than we realize. At first, color is just color but slowly meaning and value are attached to colors.
Do you remember the doll studies which were done way back in the 1940s by Black Psychologists, Kenneth and Mamie Clark? Little black children were showing preferences for white dolls over black dolls as early as age 5. How early internalized racism enters the psyche of our children telling them they are not the preferred choice. Since we cannot insulate them, how can we ensure they love everything about their brown skin while simultaneously explaining that for the rest of their lives, their brown skin will dictate how hard they have to prove themselves in every room they enter?
When my black boy has a tantrum in school, will it be viewed as developmentally appropriate or a result of anger and oppositionality? The truth is that regardless of being an educated black woman who is bilingual, who attended fancy schools, who earned a doctorate, who has traveled as a missionary helping people around the world, to many people my color is the first and only thing they see and the only thing that matters.
Being a woman can be exhausting in today’s society, but being a black woman can feel like running a marathon but as you approach the finish line you see that someone has either moved it farther away or there was a whole other course that was much shorter and easier but you were not privy to it.
To my black sisters, in the midst of this world full of so much evil, hold onto the fact that though the marathon is long and difficult you have already been equipped to finish it strong. You were created with such strength and resilience that it frightens others. You have what it takes to heal your wounds and raise your sons and daughters to dream big and take courage that their destinies are still in the hands of the One who created them. Love yourself and the skin you’re in. Teach your children that they are beautiful, precious and worthy of respect and dignity.
To my white sisters, allow what’s going on in the world to lead to self-reflection and a thirst for knowledge. A friend of mine talked about the need for people to have a teachable spirit. Awareness of the privilege you are born into is important. Understanding the disadvantages that your black sisters and brothers are born into and the systems in place to uphold that disadvantage is crucial. Have courageous conversations with others. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or of saying something the wrong way. The only way to get it right is to have the dialogue.
We have a responsibility to ourselves and each other to do better. Hate is learned. No one is born hating another person or group. Not learning the truth, not reading, not talking is a passive acceptance of the status quo. We cannot fall back on the excuse of what our parents did or didn’t teach us. We have to put on our big girl panties and do the work. We owe it to ourselves, our friends and to our children.
Additional Resources: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8SyB-pyMp4 https://bethebridge.com/ https://www.prettygooddesign.org/blog/Blog%20Post%20Title%20One-5new4 https://admin.artsci.washington.edu/sites/adming/files/unpacking-invisible-knapsack.pdf https://www.todaysparent.com/family/books/kids-books-that-talk-about-racism/#gallery/books-that-talk-about-racism/slide-1
